gimme some (new) truth

there are some truths we just accept

  • an authentic Chinese restaurant will be full of Chinese clients (this may not be true in China)
  • a pukka Indian restaurant will be full of Brits
  • if you’re in North America and want a decent doughnut, go to a place full of coppers and hope they don’t shoot you because of the colour of your skin (ie. dark, swarthy…they don’t tend to shoot sunburned people or anyone with a low melanin count)
  • if you go to an “Irish” pub showing rugby, you’ll be surrounded by the worst poshest English people you have ever have the misfortune to share a postal district with. leave as soon as you can before you wish you were an armed racist American copper and just waste them all.

 

but let me lay some new truth on you….

  • old people know a decent menu del dia

 

yes, they can be annoying….they often have unpleasant, fanatical views about how other people should behave; they make your queue in the supermarket so much slower; they’re quite happy to let their dogs shit in the street and pretend not to notice…and Jesus, don’t get behind one waiting for the cash machine…I’ve no idea what they are doing, transferring nazi gold from their Swiss bank into krugerrands and then printing it onto a 1950s style paper account ledger? there’s apps for that shit!

but they are useful if you’re looking for a decent menu del dia. follow them. isn’t hard, they don’t move so quickly and they won’t notice what is going on around them…but trust me, they know where its at when it comes to a menu del dia

I’ve mentioned menu del Dias many times here….it is a staple, an integral part of our way of life…and its being eroded, almost as badly as politicians and the media erode trust, or carbon emissions erode the ice caps, or as much as politicians ignore the erosion of the ice caps. Menu del Dias are becoming as scarce as a polar bear competing in a speedway race. so when you find one…a real one…one with 3 courses and a decent amount of wine (ie a bottle or equal measure of a carafe) then you have to take that restaurant and you need to clutch it to your bosom and you must cherish it and not let it go.

my friends, (do you mind if I call you friends?), I’ve found a place too cherish. Bar/Cafe Moratines on Calle Moratines, off Calle Embajadores. There’s only 4 tables and so you need to pre-empt the old people’s lunch…actually, a lot of people I notice come in for a menu to take away…so be there before 2pm or after 3. fella behind the bar is as taciturn as you’d expect, his wife is portuguese and does the cooking, the daughter serves the food. 3 courses, bottle of wine, bottle of casera, 10euro. boom! what more do you want?!

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I got there slightly before 2…so was able to watch a bit of the only cooking programme on Spanish TV (dunno…I’m probably wrong…I haven’t turned on the TV in 9 years) and the beginning of Spanish Wheel of Fortune…which is…FUCKED!…before every question the crowd start cheering and singing along to a popular song and the contestants have to stand there dancing and pretending they aren’t embarrassed. I ain’t going to watch Spanish University Challenge, I can tell you

First course, bean stew with rice and chorizo.

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pukka!

Second course…Russian fillets with tomato sauce and chups. I love Russian fillets. more in my head than in my mouth….but although I tend to order fish on a menu, if there’s anything involving mince I’ll go with that. your Russian fillet is like a beef burger that has been punched and covered in breadcrumbs and tends to be served with tomato frito sauce. I imagine it comes from the austerity that Spain suffered when the Russians were here trying to save the people of Spain from the fascists and the Vatican…before austerity got so great they had to eat cats and pigeons.20190614_135841.jpg

could’ve had dessert. but I;m not goloso (sweet-toothed) and you know its just going to be flan or pudding or a bit of fruit. I wasn’t planning a siesta because I didnt get up until nearly midday (living the motherfucking dream) so I had a coffee….delta coffee…portuguese coffee is the BEST coffee in the world. well, the world I have been to, which includes Portugal.

the end